Where is the hickey?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
So much rum. So many feels.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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