That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I cut my penus on the lid.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
