yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
