Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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