its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
