found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
