K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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