Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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