like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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