He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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