So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
