these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
