1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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