I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
