Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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