Where is the hickey?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize