Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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