whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
it's great music for shaving your balls
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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