Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
