This girl is more easily done than said...
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
