Ketchup is God's man juice
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i want to swaddle you in tequila
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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