It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
