"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize