Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
