If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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