Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
