how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
