i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
