i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
