i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
