Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
