Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
