My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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