btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
