Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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