The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
