I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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