I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize