Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
