I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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