She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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