Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
