Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
