Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
