Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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