i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
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We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
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I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize