dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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