i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
