Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
