I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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