No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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