Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
