I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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