He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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