Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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