That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
