I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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