So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
