Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
