oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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