Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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